I have seen the Pentatonix “Mary, Did You Know” video posted at least a dozen times on my Facebook newsfeed lately, and I honestly can’t tell you how many times I have watched it. I have liked it so much, I downloaded it to my phone and I listen to it often. Every time this song comes on over my earphones when I am on a run, I can feel my body come alive and everything in me wants to push just a little bit harder. Yes, I admit, I am a little obsessed. I can’t get over, not only the beautiful voices of the group, but the meaning behind every word of the song. It literally gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. I feel like being a parent gives me a whole new perspective on this song because I can honestly say I have never listened to this song so closely before.

I also know the reason this song hits me so strongly right now is because of everything we have been through with the boys this year. I am by no means comparing myself to Mary, or comparing my boys to Jesus, so please don’t read this as if I am. The words, “Did you know?” just continue to ring over and over in my head. It is such a great reminder for anyone who decides to make a turn onto the crazy road of parenting, no matter what people tell you and how much you think you are prepared, you have absolutely no idea what you are in for. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly……I had no idea.

I did NOT know that I would have such a love/hate relationship with being pregnant.

I did NOT know despite reading everything there was on the does and don’ts of pregnancy, and then seriously doing everything “right” (no lunchmeat, high mercury fish, etc.) that there are so many things outside of my control and that it was God’s plan for me to deliver Chase at 28 1/2 weeks.

I did NOT know that the day of my first born son’s birth could possibly be one of the scariest AND best days of my life.

I did NOT know that when I kissed Chase’s face while he was a teeny, tiny baby in the NICU, that I was kissing the face of a boy who would grow to be someone who amazes me every day with his depth, strength, and desire to help others.

I did NOT know that I could give birth to a second child, and love him just as much as my first.

I did NOT know that even though Roman had colic and screamed every waking hour of the first year of his life, God would give me the strength every day to get up and start new. I am not lying when I say, even after a horrible night of 30 minutes of sleep at a time between crying fits, God would fill me with enough love and grace towards this little guy that I looked forward to seeing him every single morning.

I did NOT know the love that I could have for a step-child, a love that even deepened after giving birth to two myself.

I did NOT know the pride that I would feel watching my step-child achieve great things, and the ups and downs I would feel when she experienced ups and downs.

I did NOT know what it really felt like to have my heart “melt” until my children started telling me “I Love You”.

I did NOT really know, that when they hurt, I hurt. I have heard parents say that they would take their children’s pain if they could. I could kind of understand it before, but now I know it.

I did NOT know that my kids could make me feel insane. I mean one step away from a straight jacket and “butt juice” insane.

I did NOT know that a hug from my child could actually erase just about everything naughty they have ever done.

I did NOT know that after growing up having the weakest stomach of anyone I knew, once I had kids, I could clean up puke or change a diaper and go back to finishing my dinner (because seriously guys, those quesadillas were really good and a girls’ got to eat).

I did NOT know that my heart could break in a million pieces and it could hurt so much, and that I would be forced to question everything there is to know about life, God, Jesus, death, love, happiness……….but I can say without a doubt, it is all Worth It and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

I can’t even imagine the fear in Mary’s heart when she was first told about the awesome responsibility she had placed in front of her. I can’t imagine the pain and heartache she felt when she watched her sweet, loving son die on the cross. She knew what was ahead, but how could she possibly, really “know.” Either way, she had complete and unwavering faith in God, and I bet she would do it all again in a heartbeat.

In case you have no idea what I am talking about, I strongly encourage you to click on the link below and watch and truly listen to this amazing video.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifCWN5pJGIE